At their best:

Healthy 4s are very self-aware, self-revealing and able to communicate about their inner world in such a way that helps others do the same.

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The message an Enneagram 4's heart longs to hear:

"You are seen and loved for who you are."

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In stress:

Enneagram 4s go to 2 in stress, risking becoming overly needy and manipulative in their relationships.  They can feel misunderstood and withdraw from important relationships.

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In growth:

Enneagram 4s go 1 in growth, becoming objective, principled, and grounded.

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Ways to get along with a 4:

Give them plenty of compliments. They mean a great deal to them.

Be supportive of them by helping them to love themselves and see their significant value.

Respect their unique abilities in having good intuition and vision.

They may not always want to be cheered up when they are melancholy.

Don’t tell them that they are too sensitive or overreacting.

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Things that resonate with a 4:

I like things that are unconventional, dramatic and refined.  
I often have so many emotions, I don’t know which ones to pay attention to.
Melancholy is comfortable for me; it is frustrating when people try and cheer me up.
I am very sensitive to criticism and it takes me a bit to get over it.
When people tell me what to do, I am often tempted to do the opposite.
Sometimes I just disappear and go silent for a few days.
I often feel there is something missing.
It is often hard for me to settle into a serious relationship because I am always looking
for my “soul mate”.

I come up with creative ideas but have difficulty executing them. 
I am often misunderstood and it frustrates me.
I pull people in and then push them away.